Christmas time is very much breathing down my neck right now as I, The Procrastinator (this could actually be my super hero name), have not bought a single present yet.... well other than something for my mom but she was there when I picked it out, so does that really count? Probs not. I am feeling overwhelmed about all of this stuff thinking about where I am going to find the money... when I am going to find the time... etc. etc. etc.
I am freaking out because my fiance lives in another town and his lease is up soon and he still hasn't found a job in Amarillo. I am freaking out because I have all of these wedding plans to manage... I am completely consumed with myself.
...And then I find out that there is this girl. This freshman in high school that is in one of the programs my mom works with at her job that has cancer. Freshman girl. 14 years old. Cancer in her throat. lungs. legs. I suddenly realize that my problems are not so important anymore.
I have no idea what it must be like to wonder if I am even going to make it to Christmas, much less if I have the money to spend on the crap for it.
If this girl can have faith to continue on despite the hand that has been dealt to her, why can't I? What power and might this little girl (child--really) has that I can't even begin to fathom.
I think it is so easy to say that you have faith and you know the Lord is going to provide, but to actually live it on a day to day basis is so beyond me. I need to understand how someone so fragile can say, "It is well with my soul." How to genuinely pray a prayer saying, "Not my will but Yours be done."
So during this time that we are to be celebrating the birth of our savior, my plan is to cherish those that I love. Despite the presents that I get them or they get me, despite the urge to rip my hair out from stress of outside influences, I want to cherish, grow and learn to become like this girl. She is a decade younger than I am, yet she has so much to teach me. She has a faith that can move mountains.
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