Some one wise once told me that "people will only treat you the way that you let them." I know it is kind of a backwards version of "do unto others" or whatever, but it is true. There were some pretty crappy relationships that I have been in over the course of my lifetime. I had this one boyfriend that I just knew I was going to marry. He was really cool and was really good looking (until he stopped bathing... which is a totally different story in itself). I loved his family. I mean loved them. His parents were so nice to me and I got along great with his sister. I may have liked them more than I liked him, but he was apart of the package I guess. He was usually nice to me and he was there for me when I was going through an extremely hard time. He was an emotional backboard when I had no one. Unfortunately, looking back, I have begun to realize that he was part of the reason why I had no one but him. He demanded all of my time and made me feel guilty when I wanted to hang out with my friends. Totally not cool. We began to fight a lot. I mean a lot. Atomic bomb style. Either way, he cheated on me with his raunchy ass ex-girlfriend and I felt like I had to stay with him because I was indebted to him for being there for me when I was hurting. That wasn't right. And that girl was SUCH a bitch. She faked a pregnancy scare 4 days after they did it. I mean, come on. Seriously?
We stayed together for like a month afterward and I believed that it was going to work. Granted, I always thought about them together and I brought it up and hung it over his head the rest of out relationship (but don't feel bad for him, he was still pretty rude to me too...) But, I remember the time that I realized that I didn't need to put up with his crap anymore. Some people were in awe of how great of a person I was because I was able to forgive him. One of my friends at the time told me that she really admired me because I was "such a good and forgiving person." Part of me really believed that I was just "such a good and forgiving person." Even though every time she said that to me I would throw up in my mouth a little bit.
During all this crap my best friend and I were kind of going through a "falling out." Which not to place blame on anyone, but it was TOTALLY his fault (and partly mine I guess for choosing him ALL the time.) Anyway, we had just begun spending time together again and she said that she was just surprised that I decided to stay with him because she "had never known me to take shit from anyone." I am not going to lie that sort of struck something in me. All those people that thought that I was "such a forgiving person" had no idea that I hadn't forgiven him. I just stopped fighting for myself. I gave up. I let him break me and take all the pieces for himself. Needless to say, those people that thought that I was totally awesome didn't think that I was awesome after I dumped his ass.
I don't necessarily believe that love is blind. I believe that when you have love, it colors the world and that other person to you. You still see what they have done to you, but you find excuses or reasons why it is ok for them to walk all over you.
I don't want anyone to think that I still have feelings for this moronic assface that I am writing about. That ship sailed many years ago. I just hope someone can learn from my mistakes. And, I just want to reiterate something... People will only treat you the way you let them. People will only treat you the way you let them.
People will only treat you the way you let them.
People will only treat you the way you let them. Got it? Good.
